Breaking the silence around powerful abusers
Lately, with the release of some of the Epstein Files some of the biggest headlines of recent months have referenced stories of women who have experienced trafficking and exploitation.
No single face
In our work, we meet women who have been hurt by people from every walk of life. Abuse has no single face, no reliable pattern, no predictable profile. It can come from anyone. But there is one reality that can make recovery particularly challenging: when harm is caused by people who hold status, influence, or public admiration, it is far too easy for that harm to be dismissed, denied, or quietly ignored.
When a survivor takes the brave step of sharing their story, society often struggles, or refuses, to accept that someone who appears respectable could be capable of deep cruelty. Again and again, our work reminds us that outward respectability is no guarantee of innocence.
We are thinking of the people, countless among us, who have held secrets because they are sure no one will believe them over the name and prestige of their abuser. If that is you, we want to say we will hear your voice, not to share with anyone, but simply to know you are believed and your pain is understood.
Barriers to speaking out
We also want to acknowledge that for survivors, to have stories all over the news is often very painful to hear as it brings up all the fear again. As we were in the process of writing this piece, one of the survivors we work with contacted us to say how the news at the moment has been very triggering. She then wrote the following, which is shared with her permission:
“It is just so hard and right now it feels like I'm being crushed by it. It feels so out of my control, and it felt like there was no warning this time.
“I think for me, I feel really conflicted. It is triggering and traumatising, and right now, it feels inescapable. It is everywhere I turn on social media, on the news, people were talking about it on the bus and at work. It is so hard hearing people talk about it when it doesn't feel safe to admit it happened to me.
The flip side is it feels like people are finally starting to see the reality of what some of us have gone through, both for those of us who are survivors, and those that never had the opportunity to survive. It feels positive that people are reading and watching and talking about it, and part of me doesn't want that to stop, because that is how change will happen and the shame and the guilt and maybe some of the fear moves off survivors and on to the perpetrators. There can't be change when there is only silence. Silence breeds complicity and ignorance, and allows these crimes and abuses of power and wealth to continue.”
If you are a survivor who needs a safe place to speak and simply to be understood and believed we are available to you and you can reach us via our email or website.
